Congratulations, My Friends

[Started on 5/8/08]
I just sent off my roommate, as he's moved out for the time being. It is a strange feeling, watching him pack his things. I've seen him do it 3 times already before, but realizing that this is the last time was...

[Continued on 5/10/08]
Sorry, my entry was interrupted last time, but I will continue where I left off.

I guess it wasn't his last time moving out, since he'll still have stuff to move soon. Originally, I was going to write about the sad part of graduating. And, I still am. But I also want to write about the good things.

Without a doubt, I am going to miss this place. But what I'm really going to miss are all of my friends, and not being able to share each others' happiness in this setting. That is without a doubt, my greatest sadness.

I couldn't help but remember the last two times I had to graduate and leave behind all the things that were familiar with me. The first time was STS. I still remember that night, when Daniel and I were walking around Chinatown and we were near this bridge. And I told him about my sadness of leaving my friends behind. What ended up happening was for a while, I really lost touch with many of my friends. But, after a couple years, a good number of us came back together, and I consider them nothing less than brothers to me.

The second time was when I graduated from SICP. I admit that I was sort of a loner in high school. But not in an angry or psychotic or emo way, although I hardly ever cracked a smile. I think it was because I was shy. I felt out of place. I felt alienated. But no matter what, I came out of there with a handful of close friends. But with the exception of 1, I really don't talk to them anymore. But to this day, I really cherish those days. And looking back at it, I remember missing those days too. For some reason, I really miss the times when I used to color these worksheets with my friend and his then-girlfriend in the library for our human anatomy class. Something so simple...meant so much to me. But today, we're all living our own lives. Graduating from HS, I really didn't feel as much sadness from leaving as I felt excitement for starting my college career with my "brothers."

And now, it's coming to an end. No - it's over. We all get caught up with "the end's" and "the last's". And, it's so sad to say that. Because here, in college, I actually feel like I will be leaving a part of myself here, while the rest of me will have dispersed throughout the rest of the country, the rest of the world. And I feel like I'm becoming an empty shell. With no real, no fulfilling purpose or meaning. Of course, I know that is not true at all. But, that's just how much it means to me.

My only wish is that my friends, whether I've known them for a long or short amount of time, will know that I miss them.

BUT

I don't want to only talk about the sad stuff. Because it's unhealthy, and perhaps missing the whole point of graduation.

I remember, when 4 years ago, my 3 friends - then my only friends - first came down to this campus for orientation at ISR. And I remember when we came down again to move into FAR/PAR. And we were ready to embrace our new and exciting lives. Granted, I admit that I wasn't very "exciting" back then, but all I wanted then was to be content. And, as far as I remember, with the exception of my GPA, I was the most content with my life back then.

But that is besides the point. Back then, we had set out to begin our journey to graduate from college. And it warms my heart to know that all of our hard work has culminated to this point. And along the way, I have met many people who have embarked on that same journey.

I know that they have left their image in my being, and I hope that I have left mine in theirs as well. And to all of my friends who have left - please wait for me. And to all of my friends who aren't leaving yet - I will wait for you. And to all of my friends who are leaving - let us walk together.